Our younger daughter’s birthday is nearing. So we went to purchase new dresses for her, along with the elder one. Because it is younger one’s birthday, she got three dresses and the elder one got only two.
Because of this injustice, tears started rolling from the elder one. It is heart breaking for me to see her cry. But we explained the reason and let her to absorb the pain and disappointment by herself.
Many a times, we would promise children for a park visit or a cinema and we would cancel it at the eleventh hour, sighting some reasons.
We do all these purposefully so that the children become accustomed to disappointments and heart breaks. Of course we love our children from the bottom of hearts. We want to give them best possible gifts and experiences to them. But life does not give us all that we want. It only gives what we need.
Read related: Before You Present An Expensive Gift To A Child
We can either pamper our children saying they are the best and they can get whatever they want. Or, we can teach them the hard truths of life with some small examples.
It will help them to take failures and disappointments in their stride and move on. It will make them stronger.
We can only protect and nurture them till one point of time. Tomorrow, when they grow up, they will be exposed to the harsh world, where they have to use failures and difficulties as stepping stones for success. We might not be with them during those hard times. They have to struggle on their own.
Over protectiveness will only make them weaker, dependent and ignorant.
In a very touching video, a well known speaker, Simon Sinek speaks about how millennial kids are pampered so much that they have become delicate and vulnerable. Watch here
So, if you really love and care about your child, from time to time, allow child to suffer through some minor disappointments.
Do not pick up the child every time he falls.
Do not give your child all the toys that she demands.
Do not help your child in reading all the words in a story book. Let the child put some effort in reading. Only if she fails, then we can intervene and help.
Do not help the child in eating above 2 or 3 years of age. Let the child be self reliant.
Let the child learn to put on the clothes on his own.
Let the child go out, play, fall down, let him have bruised knees.
Read related: Allow Kids To Have Their Own Experiences
Do not take the side of the child, when he gets into a quarrel with a neighborhood friend.
Do not take the side of the child, when he has not completed home work.
Do not quarrel with the teacher, taking the side of the child, when the exam grades (marks) are low. Discuss with teacher and analyze weak points and improvise.
Do not help the child to put on clothes, beyond 3 or 4 years of time.
Let the child clean the clothes, utensils, do some minor household chores on his own.