Success Tip – Never Listen To Your Friends

Friends can be great to have during time of fun and sorrow. But when it comes to chasing your dreams, I suggest you to better walk a lonely path than relying on friends.

Suppose you live in a hostel surrounded by your friends. You plan to go to cinema hall to see a movie by 6 pm. Say, you come back from college by 5 pm, get fresh and you have half an hour left before you join you friends to go to cinema hall. But you have half an hour left. In that half an hour you decide to finish up tomorrow’s important project. You can do that. But you cannot if you tell this plan to your friends. They would drag you to chit chat. They will make you lose that half an hour. You can say no to them and get back to project but you cannot because they are your best friends. That is the point. Do not make them your best friends. Because a true best friend would always want you to work harder. Unfortunately there are no such friends.


Though you kept 2 hours for enjoyment with your friends (movie), you are made to pay an extra precious half an hour, just because you listened to your friends more than you listen to yourself.
Consider your intellectual quotient is 7 out of 10. And your friends’ average intellectual quotient is 6. If you hangout with your friends, over a period of time you will be dragged to an intellectual quotient of below six. Because negativity has great power to pull down positivity. It can crush creative thinking. It can wipe off an incredible dream. It can suck up all your energy.
You are living with your friends. They are part of your life. Without them your life will be incomplete. I agree. But do not trade your intellectual dreams, ideas and positive spirit with them.

Protect it. Preserve it. Do not listen to your friends saying that you cannot do something. Do not let them say that you cannot be best at algebra. Do not believe them saying that you cannot sing better.

You see, if Steve Jobs had believed in a his naysayers the world would not have had Apple today. His thoughts were crazy, his method of working was insane. He was obnoxious. He was intolerable. Because he used to challenge status quo. He was pushing things forward forcefully. He was relentlessly challenging his engineers to think above and think beyond.
With that much of insanity, commitment and ruthlessness towards inertia only, something can be achieved my friend.
Imagine what would have happened if Sachin Tendulkar preferred hanging out with his friends rather than practising cricket in his teenage.

If you keep on listening to your friends and family advice that you have to play it safe, you can never achieve the things that are haunting your mind right now. Like a mother protects her newborn child, protect your inner most desires, positive attitude and your dreams from your friends. Preserve them in the deep corner of your heart and nourish it with utmost care.
Listen, share your happiness, fun moments etc with your friends. But do not share your dreams, ambitions and positive energy with them.

Master Vagbhata, in Ashtanga Hrudaya, Sutrasthana 2nd chapter says –
भक्त्या कल्याणमित्राणि सेवेतेतरदूरगः ।
bhaktyā kalyāṇamitrāṇi sevetetaradūragaḥ |
Bhaktya kalyana mitrani seveta – Good friends shall be served with affection,
Itara dooragaha – Whereas the others (wicked) should be kept at a distance.

It is hard, it is difficult. It is not for everyone. It is painful. There is a lot of inner struggle in doing this. Loneliness, keeping your idea alive when no one is with you can push you to depression.
But its rewards are the sweetest. It is the way to glory, it is the way to lead a successful and meaningful professional life.
I know that you are born to change this world for better. Have trust.

24 comments on “Success Tip – Never Listen To Your Friends

  • Vinutha

    19/11/2013 - 2:54 pm

    Wow doctor wonderfully said, I always nourished guilty about being like this, but after reading your article, am free from it.. am happy. Thanks for sharing:)

    Reply to comment
    • Dr J V Hebbar MD(Ayu)

      19/11/2013 - 3:25 pm

      Congratulations. Be proud to be like that. That does not make you a less friendly person. Just that, when it comes to business, you tend to prioritize your work than your friends 🙂

      Reply to comment
  • Faroz

    19/11/2013 - 3:05 pm

    You may also have friends who are more intellectually challenge than you and more ambitious than you. Hence hanging out with them and sharing your dreams with them might result with them encouraging you more and pulling you up with them!! Life is not a simplistic one way street!! So you should choose your friends with care and always have an open mind!!

    Reply to comment
    • Dr J V Hebbar MD(Ayu)

      19/11/2013 - 3:30 pm

      True sir. Thank you very much.

      Reply to comment
  • Mohit

    19/11/2013 - 3:24 pm

    Really appreciated what you have written, apart from health your teaching Moral Conduct and inculcating good habits among people…cheers!

    Reply to comment
    • Dr J V Hebbar MD(Ayu)

      19/11/2013 - 3:27 pm

      Cheers! Mohit 🙂

      Reply to comment
  • santha

    19/11/2013 - 4:07 pm

    Nice moral Article! Good effort doctor!

    Reply to comment
    • Dr J V Hebbar MD(Ayu)

      19/11/2013 - 4:09 pm

      Thank you very much. 🙂

      Reply to comment
  • Venkat

    19/11/2013 - 4:46 pm

    Rightly said. I wish I had this advise when I was young!!!

    Reply to comment
  • Piyathilaka

    19/11/2013 - 6:21 pm

    It is a very good advise.Thank you very much for giving valuble advise which are very helpful to everyday life.

    Reply to comment
    • Dr J V Hebbar MD(Ayu)

      19/11/2013 - 7:21 pm

      I am glad you found it helpful. Thanks.

      Reply to comment
  • dr shraddha

    19/11/2013 - 7:22 pm

    well said sir…its really true..amazing sir

    Reply to comment
    • Dr J V Hebbar MD(Ayu)

      19/11/2013 - 7:25 pm

      Thank you Dr Shraddha.

      Reply to comment
  • Kapil Chawla

    19/11/2013 - 8:48 pm

    Thanks Doctor.

    Thanks for the Great insight to life, which comes after very long experience.

    99% people believe the contrary what you say, but you are right.
    Majority is always of fools.

    My experience is the only true friend one can have is Up-Guru (Guru Within).
    If one sees around one would find, real successful people are thoe who have followed the calling of Guru Within.

    Reply to comment
    • Dr J V Hebbar MD(Ayu)

      20/11/2013 - 11:45 am

      Dear Kapil, you just summed up what I wanted to say, so beautifully in such a few words 🙂 Thank you very much.

      Reply to comment
  • Srinivasa Murthy E A

    19/11/2013 - 9:24 pm

    Very Good advice Dr. Regarding Not sharing dreams or ambitions it is OK. But I could not understand how one can share or not sharing positive energy with friends, which you have mentioned at the end of the article. To quote “But do not share your dreams, ambitions and positive energy with them.”

    Reply to comment
    • Dr J V Hebbar MD(Ayu)

      20/11/2013 - 11:40 am

      Say, you are planning to read a spiritual book or join a spiritiual training class or a yoga program etc. Share this with your friend only if you have firmly made your decision. Otherwise just go and join.

      Reply to comment
  • rajendar menen

    19/11/2013 - 10:51 pm

    Right on! You have hit the nail on the head big time.

    Reply to comment
  • Nina

    20/11/2013 - 2:33 pm

    Thanks a lot doctor, for giving this valuable advise. I personally have had experience of meeting such people whom i used to call friend (unfortunately) and by following their advice I have caused lot of harm to myself which I understood after a long time experience. This does not mean we should not have friends but we should know where to draw a line.

    Reply to comment
    • Dr J V Hebbar MD(Ayu)

      21/11/2013 - 8:38 am

      Rightly said Nina. When we are in the midst of things, it is very difficult to realize the truth. Hence it is better to be a bit no-so-friendly person and draw the line ahead. 😉

      Reply to comment
  • Nabendu Lal Dutta

    20/11/2013 - 2:58 pm

    Thank u Doctor for such a valuable article, it is really helpful for all…………… Thank u again.

    Reply to comment
  • Harsha Vardhana R

    02/09/2014 - 7:17 am

    True for all ages!

    I too was different from everyone since birth in habits. True, I have failed many times when I have gone alone defying others. Also never succeeded when I blindly followed them!

    So I chose my own action though I listen to others suggestions and opinions!

    Reply to comment

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